I’m just a happy kid
Stuck with the heart of a sad punk
Drowning in my id
Always searching like it’s on junk

- Nada Surf, ‘Happy Kid’

My lack of progress, in life in general – not in anything in particular, has become palpable. The way I move around seems slow motion, with little spots speeded up like some crazy film on a broken projector.

Tai chi was interesting this morning, working a bit on turn-strike-parry-punch. I had been swinging my hip out too far. I knew I was doing it not quite right, I could feel the power go, but hadn’t taken the time to figure out why. It was very similar to what I was doing with repulse monkey: letting my hip slide outward instead of rotating in place and keeping my weight directly over my knee. That turn-strike is still really hard for me, though. Floppy wrist! Punches don’t work well with floppy wrists.

Edward was saying he had learned something new, a martial style or art that has you punching with your 2 ‘outside’ knuckles (ring & pinkie) instead of the 2 inside ones (index & middle). I tried shifting the force back and forth myself, with my arm extended like a punch, fist against the wall. It still amazes me when something I do with my arm or shoulder moves my hips or feet.

It felt good to direct energy somewhere out of me this morning, even if it was just against the wall. I think it’s all clogged up in me somewhere, physically, metaphorically, emotionally.