NO SCHOOL! Let’s get a report on conditions from our familial meteorologist:

Well, Merv, conditions are looking good for another day in front of the tv in pajamas which will proceed pleasantly until about 9:30 8:45 when the first accusation of ‘that’s unfair!’ will be released. Scattered outbreaks of ‘you’re a butthead’ and smacks upside the head will continue through midday. Conditions are expected to worsen by mid-afternoon, when brotherly relations will have degenerated into frequent acts of violence and name-calling. Visitors should exercise caution, as parents may become slippery, irritable and one step closer to insanity.